Some women choose not marry or start a family and others just haven’t found the right one, but don’t think their lives are unfulfilled or lacking.
I had the pleasure of contacting a very lovely woman about this topic. Her view on the being without a husband or child is that she is happy. She doesn’t feel an urgent need to settle down. Yes a partner would be nice, but rushing it doesn’t seem to be something she’s overly willing to do. Also she has known from early on in life she’s not sure about having children. She likes them but likes the freedom of not having that extra responsibility over someone else’s life. In her words, pets are enough children for her and even at a time she wasn’t sure she was all on board for them.
It’s not a lack of searching, but there seems to be a comfort in their own skin that some women 40 and above who have never married or had children seem to have. They date and some are looking for a partner but marriage isn’t the end goal or only focus, more like companionship with someone they connect with. Their lives are still full of meaningful relationships and aren’t less than those with people who have kids and husbands.
Some have used their time in their early years to focus on work and career building and wouldn’t give up the place they have reached career wise for marriage or children. And some have claimed that building their career first also helped them afford the insurance policy to freeze their eggs, if they choose to start a family at a later date. They feel that they wouldn’t have been able to do this if they hadn’t been so career driven. In addition, being career minded helped them live comfortable enough so that they could stand alone, but also bring a great deal to a table when they meet the right partner. This is one of the reasons why some fabulous ladies over forty for still unmarried without kids.
I have also met some who know that they don’t want marriage or kids early in life either due to family role models and divorce or just their own mindset. They would rather have a loving long term relationship over pushing for marriage or just be happy as a committed couple. Those that knew they didn’t feel the need to be maternal or deeply want kids, either have a partner or are just single. And they are happy with their lives. They are enjoying either spending their time or money with good friends and family and some are taking the time to travel and have experiences they couldn’t have with a child in tow. That is a choice for some.
For those that it’s not a choice, many aren’t worried about the ticking sands of time and remain hopeful it’ll happen in time. A friend of mine states, “It either happens or it doesn’t but worrying about it and getting stressed just bends my life out of shape.” Well said.