“A baby won’t make him stay.” How many times have we heard this phrase? Sadly, as many times as we have heard it, there are still plenty of women who disregard it. There are countless examples of women who have fallen victim to this phrase believing that it wouldn’t be them. How wrong these women are! We have to understand that we cannot force a child on a man. No one wants a child forced on them and no one wants a child used for keeping a relationship…especially men.
Sometimes when we begin dating a man, we envision the perfect future with them in our heads, and begin planning our life with them before we really know them. It seems as though when the relationship starts to dwindle, women start looking for ways to keep the man around. If a woman already has a child with the man, this is a common excuse for women to try to keep the man around. This may sound like a good idea in your head, but ladies let me tell you, it isn’t. I do not need to have been through this to know this is not a good idea. Children are something that everyone needs to be ready for. Forcing a child on a man is not the way to keep him. Here’s why: Men need to be ready for children– everyone does. A child will make him run further in the other direction. If your relationship is already complicated, a child will further complicate things. This goes into the issue of not just having children with anyone. Children are a big responsibility and should not be dragged into the scheme of trying to save a relationship. I am not saying that all women who have children with their partner are trying to keep a man, because that is not true. However this is a relevant issue and seems to be becoming more common. Just because you have a child with a man does not mean that he will stay with you. He may do what he is supposed to for his child, but it will not force him to stay where he does not want to stay. Truthfully children seem to scare men and cause them to do the opposite of what you are expecting them to do. In some cases the child does bring you both together, which is great. It can happen and it does happen often. However, I am just saying that women have to get out of the mindset that just because you have a child together means you are supposed to be with that person. Most times you do not really know a person like you think you do, which is why it is important to make sure that you know the person you are having a child with.
Let’s be real. You have a child with your partner and you envision the perfect family. That is normal. However, when the man you have a
child with starts showing signs of being immature, dishonest, and irresponsible, it is time to let the relationship go. I understand wanting your child to see both parents together and happy, but that is not always going to be the case. As disappointing as that is, it is life and it does happen. Ladies, let’s stop using these children to hold on to something that does not need to be held on to. I cannot reiterate enough how babies do not make men stay. Most times they do not make men into the perfect man for us either. Bottom line is he is not staying because you have a child together and that is the truth. Remember, once you have a child with someone, you are stuck with that person forever. There is no undoing that. Keep that in mind and also remember that having a child with someone does not make that person the right person for you.
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Photo 2: Courtesy of Daily Mail