I’m very old fashioned, even though that is frowned upon these days. However, I do believe the number one rule to all relationships is to Know Your Role!
For example, sidepieces, mistresses, and baby mothers, if they must exist, should never be seen except at a funeral. I tend to think that by now, I must have heard every dating scenario in the book. So what could possibly surprise me? Yet, the audacity of the new age mistress has just gotten down right crazy!!!
The television dramas that are keeping us on the edge of our seats weekly, all have one thing in common: a relatable mistress to a powerful man.
We all love Olivia Pope and President Grant’s hot, steamy, on-again off-again relationship on Scandal. However, Olivia Pope is giving the average 9-5 working woman a new found confidence in being a sidepiece. Let’s be clear, marriage is a very real, strong, and powerful bond between two people. In this scenario, Olivia Pope may think she has the president’s heart, but the First Lady Millie is the ultimate power player – a role she will not relent without a fight.
Next up, is the devious Candace on Tyler Perry’s Haves & Have Nots, who is involved in a bizzare affair with the incredibly wealthy Jim Cryer. Candace captivates us with her manipulative tactics every week, possibly because most of us, at some point have loved the wrong man for the wrong reasons. We can relate to the thrill of power, his smooth confidence, his stance, and the fact that he’s a man. There is nothing sexier then a successful, tall, wealthy man who is also fun to be around. But Jim at one point, allowed Candice to get the best of him. Jim’s biggest fault is that he a lover of women. All of his mistresses need to be told to know their role and just collect their money. The irony is that Katherine is well aware of her husband infidelities. Sadly, she stays for many reasons, but she’s smart enough not to be intimate with him. Yet with that stance, she should not be surprised that someone else will gladly do what she won’t do with Mr. Cryer.
Ahhh and on to my favorite Other woman, Mary Jane Paul of BET’s Being Mary Jane, someone I can relate to 100%. Why? Because when she met Andre, she didn’t know he was actually married. You will hear me say this many times, always tell the truth about your relationship status. A lie will always come back to haunt you. When Mary Jane met Andre, she thought he was single and available. Thus causing her judgment to be impaired. She did what most women do, asked for divine intervention by praying, “God, if this is my husband please give me a sign.” Immediately after that prayer, she steps on his wedding ring! Only to dismiss it as though it wasn’t her REAL answer to prayer. When she confronts Andre, he tells her the oldest story in the book – he is really in love with her. Mary Jane then does the most foolish thing a woman in this situation could do: approach his wife and reveal that she was unknownly seeing her husband!
Last night’s episode of Being Mary Jane made me stop and consider why I feel like I know each of these women personally. Is it because at some point, I have dealt with a type of President Grant, a powerful, smooth talker that knows how to push the right buttons? Could it be the stories I have heard from my clients and girlfriends, of their own Jim Cryers? Or, perhaps it’s because at one point I was Mary Jane, and although my scenario was not with a married man, I was very much the sidepiece. That was me, and I wanted my side of the story to be known, heard, and respected because I felt blindsided by the reality of the situation. He was the one who pursued me. Yet eventually, I fell in love with another woman’s man. This scenario is relatable because it’s more common than most women would like to admit. Either we ourselves have been in these scenarios, or know someone whose life has been impacted by a relationship involving at least one too many people. One thing’s for sure, all of these shows are excellent lessons in what not to do when it comes to dating.