This post isn’t for the sensitive. Last night, I posted on twitter “don’t get it twisted men don’t know their worth often times either…if they did they wouldn’t sleep with half of y’all.” Well this stirred quite the discussion, one lady stated that I was tearing down women by this statement with #sad. But another woman said, “thank you, I need to remember that.”
I will say this until I am blue in the face, when you know your WORTH as a man or woman, what you will and won’t do changes. As much as we don’t like to admit it, every woman isn’t a lady and every man isn’t a man. If that wasn’t the case, Steve Harvey, me and other dating coaches would not be in business.
When you respect yourself there are things that you just won’t do. The understanding of SEX is clear. When you hear me state that a person should be dating 3 or more men at a time; the vulgarity or the assumption that a woman is sleeping with multiple men is removed.
We have allowed the word dating to replace courting and friendship. When you know your worth as a woman and DATE, the things that you will tolerate on your dates change. For example, when you are young, group dates are cute, fun, whimsical almost, but by age 35 is it really still cute to be asked out on group excursions with your new found friend (whose not your man)?
NO its not and here’s why; as a female if the man is not yours we may prematurely develop an attachment to this guy because we feel special to have met his friends. Stop, I don’t want to meet no friends, family, co-workers, and other people until possibly, a fun date number 4. Again by date 4 if I must meet someone I would prefer to have met a friend or two. See, I’m bout to go old school for a second, back in the day, there was a time that you met the special people cause it meant you were WORTH it. A whore didn’t meet a mom or granny. Men didn’t take you to meet anyone unless you were WORTH it. I’m not trying to tear anyone down, but be real and honest. When a man wants to do RIGHT, they change. When a woman wants to do RIGHT, she changes as well.
For me when I do the group date thing, I want to be with my man and know that we are growing together and on the same page. Dating is getting to know another person thus my breakdown: D-ecide what you like and don’t like in a person because you are just testing the waters; A-ssociate with different people so that you know what type works for you. T-est to see how you are with this person in different environments and once the guy chooses you, you have the option to; E-valuate whether or not you want to go to the next level.
*Disclaimer* I’m not discouraging group dates…if you can have fun while being gone-with-the-wind-fabulous, and live in the moment then GO for it! But if you wear your heart on your sleeve then this post is for you! I want you to understand that not every guy you meet is your husband, and every woman is not your crazy ex from 3 years ago!
Dating has changed over the years. We as people have also changed over time. The standards that we set for ourselves have changed as well. But I want you to know and understand this, the moment that you get real with yourself, accept yourself for who you are, and potentially will be, the type of people you attract will CHANGE. Dating will become easier and you won’t be dating for as long as you had in the past. Why? Because when a real man meets a woman that knows her worth he won’t let her slip away.