Communication is the foundation of every relationship. It starts with a “hello” that turns into an “I like you” and then advances into an “I love you.”
Without communication, there would just be two separate people existing on separate planes. So if you feel like you and your man are in different dimensions, then here are five tips to improve communication and reconnect the two of you into the same world:
1.) “Let me finish!”
Nobody likes being interrupted. It’s rude and makes the other person feel like you don’t value their opinion. It also prevents the discussion from progressing.
If you two keep interrupting each other, then nobody completes their thought and it’s just back and forth “but what about when—“ and “no, that’s not what happened—“ for the next half an hour or so until you both get tired and give up without ever coming to a conclusion about what you two just spent the last thirty minutes of your lives arguing about.
So next time, when your man’s talking, let him finish his sentence. It’s the respectful thing to do and by letting him feel heard, he’ll be more likely to hear you out as well.
2.) “It’s not your turn!”
Instead of waiting (im)patiently as he talks and talks for your turn to speak, tuning him out and planning your own monologue, actually listen to what he’s saying. Take it all in and think about what was said instead of jumping in to make your point as soon as he stops to take a breath. You might alter what you planned to say based on what he said.
3.) “Inside voices, please.”
Even when outdoors, there is no place for shouting in discussions between couples. If you or he are so angry that you cannot refrain from shouts either walk away to cool off or take a few minutes and a few deep breaths to calm down.
No worthwhile solutions to disagreements come from shouting matches. It’s impossible never to argue, but keep arguments calm and respectful and as a result, solutions that are beneficial to both of you will be found.
And if you find you and your man fighting and shouting all the time, maybe you’re in the wrong relationship.
4.) “What’s that got to do with anything?!”
During an argument, try to keep the argument about the original topic you two were arguing about. If you’re arguing about how he always shows up late to your dates, don’t bring up how he left dirty dishes in your sink last night and left a towel on the floor of the bathroom.
Discuss different issues at different times, don’t throw them all at him all at once like a barrage of bullets. This isn’t a war, so you two shouldn’t be fighting like you’re in one.
5.) “You always…”
This one is a classic. Replace ‘you’ statements with ‘I’ statements. ‘I’ statements sound less accusatory than ‘you’ statements.
For example, instead of “you always ignore me and text other people when we’re together”, try “I feel ignored when you’re texting others during our time together and I would love it if we could focus on each other.”
Hopefully, you and your significant other won’t get into an argument any time soon. But when you do, this time you’ll be ready thanks to these five tips to improve communication.