This is the plight of the modern career woman. She worked hard and now she wants to settle down.
She has the great education, the great job, the great life—except one thing is missing from it. A great man.
Well, there are three main reasons you’re successful but still single.
1.) Not Working Hard Enough to Find a Man
Dating is time consuming and often emotionally draining. With all the overtime you put in at work, and the hours you spend studying, it’s hard to find the time to put yourself out there.
Yet, because of all the hard work it took for you to earn your success, you should understand that it takes hard work to get what you want. So, in a way, you have to ‘earn’ your good man.
Prince Charming won’t fall from the sky into your lap like it’s raining men, hallelujah.
Romance takes work. Finding a man worth having a romance takes work. Just like everything else worth having, love takes work to get.
Men work hard to woo the women they’re interested in, so if you want to find a man worth your time, you may also have to woo him.
You’ve pushed boundaries by achieving in the workplace, so why not push boundaries by making the first move on a guy you like?
Men don’t often get approached and hit on, so may be pleasantly surprised and flattered by your interest. Also, some men may be too intimidated by your success to approach—but by you approach him, he may admit his interest.
And if not, oh well. On to the next one.
When dating online, it is a little more common and accepted for a woman to make the first contact. So you could try signing up for a dating website and messaging guys you’re interested in.
Most will probably respond, since there are always less women on dating sites than men and men get less contact from women than vice versa, and you can set up a date.
It may take a few dates to find the right man—or to realize which man is right—but so long as you’re upfront about your desire for a serious, committed long term relationship, and settle for nothing less, you will eventually find a man who is looking to settle down as well.
2.) Trying to Attract a Man the Wrong Way
Success, money, status. Doesn’t every woman want a successful, rich, and possibly famous, husband?
But just because these traits attract women to men does not necessarily mean they attract men to women.
A woman’s money, success, and status, are all less important to men than the same woman’s looks—shallow, yes—but also her personality—not shallow.
In addition to pretty, men want a woman that’s fun and pleasant to be around.
So, when men see woman being successful, they might assume she is ‘domineering’, ‘bossy’, and another b-word that means female dog.
These are all negative stereotypes about women who have successful careers, and though they are unfair, they are still the reality and so successful women must date with the negative reality of negative stereotypes in mind.
Leave the serious and hard-working side at the office, and bring your fun and soft side to your dates after work or on the weekends.
Basically, leave work at work instead of taking work home without—that goes for the actual work you need to turn in and the persona you have at work. This of course goes for men, too, and men who cannot separate their work personality from their dating personality may not be worth dating, either.
3.) Too Picky
This is always the hardest and most confusing advice to hear. First they say “never settle”, then they say “but don’t be too picky.” So what’s a girl supposed to do?
Well, “never settle” and “but don’t be too picky” aren’t mutually exclusive.
Don’t settle, goes more for picking a man who wants the same things out a relationship and life as you do. Say, you want a commitment, so he should also a commitment; you want children, so he should also want children.
Don’t settle means find someone walking the same path of life at the same speed as you are.
It doesn’t mean only date/marry a six foot tall billionaire.
That’s where “don’t be too picky” comes in.
Successful women want successful men. Why wouldn’t they?
But the problem is, (almost) all women want successful men—even the less successful women. And so now successful women have to compete with less successful women who may be younger and/or prettier for the same successful men.
Successful women may get frustrated when successful men choose to marry less successful women seemingly just because she is young and beautiful. This relates back to the section above where a woman’s success is less important to a man than a man’s success it to a woman.
But why does a woman need to marry a man as successful or more so?
Being a successful woman is about breaking down the barriers and sexism of society that tell us women belong in the home instead of in careers.
So by only wanting to date men who make as much more (or more) than you do you, you are not only contributing to lingering gender roles, but also denying yourself possible wonderful relationships with wonderful men, who may just be a little less successful or a little less wealthy than you.
You have a good career. You make enough money to support yourself. You don’t need a richer man to take care of you.
What you need is a man with a good heart and a good personality. If he is loyal, caring, funny (and isn’t mooching off of you), then so what if his job is less high paying or less prestigious?
If he has a job that he is passionate about, works hard and is good at it, and he is able to support himself, then there is no reason not to date him even if he makes less money than you.
Nowadays, more and more women are the breadwinners in male-female couples, and neither is ashamed.
So, as a successful woman, start dating less successful men. You probably will be pleasantly surprised—and no longer single.