VH1 recently kicked off the first season of Love & Hip Hop: Hollywood, and while I was catching up on shows the other day, I noticed a very interesting but unfortunately common situation between two of the cast members on the show. Rapper and producer Yung Berg, is in a “friendship” with Hazel E, and the show follows the drama that ensues with this particular friendship. Yung Berg and Hazel E have been “friends” for about ten years and now Hazel is demanding a relationship from Yung Berg. He tells her every time she asks that he is not ready for one. Despite that, she continues to hang around him and of course, sleep with him despite his warnings to her that is all it is. He continues to call her his friend and nothing more. He tells her he is still going to mess with other women, she won’t accept it and continues to get her feelings hurt when he does. They have been messing around for ten years and she still has not gotten the hint. Actually, she has gotten the hint, she is just holding onto the false hope that he will change his mind. He won’t. Yung Berg is no different from all of the men out there. He told her what his intentions were, she listened, and chose to ignore it. Now she is suffering from a broken heart that could have been avoided once she discovered they wanted different things. What is sad about this situation is that it is very common and it could be uncommon if women opened their ears and accepted the truth when it is being spoken to them.
When a man tells you something, believe them! What they mean is what they say and what they say is what they mean. They are not lying and have no reason to lie. In this situation, Yung Berg told her he did not want a relationship, and she chose to ignore that. He told her that ten years ago and she still has been hanging on thinking that he is going to change his mind. He’s not. When men say these things, they are telling the truth. Yes the truth may not be what you want to hear. The truth may be brutally honest, but at least he is not leading you on. Once a man tells you upfront what he wants or expects, that is when you make the call on whether to stay or go. If you can handle the fact that he is going to date other women while dating you, and he will never call you his girlfriend, then hey, that is your business. If you know that you want more, don’t settle for less when you can find someone to give you exactly what you are looking for. When a man calls you his friend, you are just that and nothing more. Have you ever heard the saying, “why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?” That applies in this type of situation. If a man can get the perks of a relationship when not being in one, why would he get in one? Yung Berg is never going to date Hazel exclusively because he knows he does not have to. He knows he can do whatever he wants and still get whatever he wants from Hazel so there is no need. The sad part is, Hazel knows that. She just refuses to accept it. Maybe she doesn’t understand and I don’t know what is going on through her head. What I do know is that her chances at a relationship with Yung Berg are a little slim to none. He has proven he is not ready for one, and has shown he is not going to give her one. This is the same thing with all of the men out there telling women this. If a man has told you this, you have no room to get upset with him when he does what he wants to and does not give you what you want. The ball is in your court when he tells you something like this. Think about it like this, what reason does he have to lie? He has none. I am not saying this situation is right, I am just saying what it is.
Ladies, when a man tells you something, believe him. The next time a man tells you he is not looking for a relationship and just wants “friends,” right there you need to decide if that is a situation you want to put yourself in. It usually isn’t a good idea because women get emotionally attached and begin developing feelings that are one sided. You may think you will get a man to change his mind, but you won’t. It can happen, but it is very rare. If you are looking for a relationship, it is a good idea to find someone who is looking for the same thing. That way, no one gets hurt.
Photo 1 Courtesy of AskKissy
Photo 2 Courtesy of Enstarz